Stan Nes: On Hutts and Huttese

We’ve noticed that a number of off worlders, especially tourists and other members of the leisure class, have some difficulty understanding how important Hutts really are. In fact (though it strains our imagination to consider the possibility), some travelers to our beloved city hail from places where Hutts and Huttese are unknown, or at least extremely exotic. This might be the result of the proxies of Charles H Greenthal Management, who have been spreading lies about the real estate environment surrounding the concepts that Hutts defend.

As you are now most certainly within the Hutt sphere of influence during your stay on Tatooine (and probably before and after, if you only knew), you would definitely benefit from a quick course in Hutts.

  • Hutts are extremely resistant to blaster fire, corrosives, gasses and asphyxiation, blunt impact, claws, teeth, mandibles, proboscis penetration, and pretty much anything else. They’re a little sensitive to radiation and the cold, so —¬†hypothetically¬†speaking — weapons based on such things would work best. Not that anyone would ever wish harm to befall a Hutt, of course…
  • …and one of the many reasons for this is the fact that killing a Hutt is, in most cases, suicide. It earns you a Hutt death mark…and Hutts are extremely clannish, resourceful, and tend to hold a grudge as long as they live — which, by the way, is about ten centuries on average, though accidents do tend to happen to the more ambitious.¬†For those of you with a metaphysical perspective, trying to escape a Hutt is a great way to find out how small the universe really is.

If you ever find yourself coming up against a Hutt let me offer you a bit of sound advise, DON’T. There is not much of a chance that success can be found when facing such odds. You see the amount of resources that can be accumulated in the normal life span of a Hutt is unimaginable. These resources often include indentured servants or slaves, bounty hunters, thieves, killers, psychopaths and even the occasional monster or beast. You see even the empire knows when to leave well enough alone. They do not even bother regulating the enterprises of such an intelligent clan of creatures.

As a matter of fact, not only do I advise against getting on the bad side of one of these individuals, I advise that you do everything in your power to embed yourself next to them. Should you have the chance to form an alliance, please do. If they give you the chance to do work for them, handle it to the best of your ability because the way they feel you handle things can literally make or break you.