Decree

Mos Eisley and Tatooine in general have countless pleasurable ways to while away your time in hiding:

  • Double noon is the hottest, driest, brightest part of the day. Many of our residents choose this time to sleep, which means that many of our other residents choose this time to commit crimes. If you’re of the former, watch out; if you’re of the latter, thanks in advance for assisting our local economy. One way to assist the economy is to raise cash and spend it here. If you earned an annuity, either through the lottery or by inheritance, consider cashing it in for structured settlements. See the Grokman banker to do this. You can also sell your armor or auction yourself as a mercenary. Once you’ve raised enough cash, consider contributing to the Community Defense Fund. You will receive no points, but your trust will soar, making it easier for you to engage others in commerce.
  • If you have the misfortune of needing dental work whether to extract a tooth or straighten some teeth that were knocked akew in a bar fight, you have few choices. It will definitely not be like going to a Las Vegas orthodontist to have your teeth straightened. The one tooth creature in Mos Eisley is not going to be using state-of-the-art technology and the most advanced procedures available to ensure that you achieve a brilliant healthy smile. You might be lucky enough to get a tooth pulled with a pair of pliers.
  • You will almost certainly never see a Krayt Dragon, no matter how good your guide is, no matter¬†how¬†much equipment you buy, no matter how hard you look. However, we highly encourage you to try, and we look forward to telling your story to the next dragon-hunter.
  • If you’d prefer something easier, try hunting wraids instead. They’re more common, there are hunting lodges and equipment vendors readily available, and no matter what happens, someone will have a valuable skull to sell.
  • You will almost certainly see a bantha, and you’ll definitely smell them. On Tattooine, we have a custom of blaming the bantha whenever we have difficulty controlling our flatulence. There goes one now…
  • Sand people, Tusken Raiders, whatever you want to call them, they’re out there. They’re not very friendly. If you’re lucky, they’ll just shoot you from an unseen location as you speed by, then batter you to death slowly with their gaffi sticks while you desperately try to crawl away across the burning sands. You don’t want to know what happens if you’re unlucky.
  • It’s a widely-heard myth that you can burn your eyes out faster looking at the sands than you can looking at the suns. This is not true. It takes pretty much the same amount of time. Droid, read that last part back to me.